Prussia's No-No list
by justanotherteenagefangirl27
Summary: this is hilarious! like I died laughing reading all this stuff Prussia can't do anymore (but he's gonna keep doing it anyway!)
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys! Really quick- the original rules belong to EpiclyAwesomePrussia on Deviant Art, Prussia belongs to Himuruya, the rule stories belong to me!_

Things That I,  
>The Great Prussia,<br>Am No Longer Allowed To Do  
>( But will still do anyway. )<p>

1. I am no longer allowed to stand up on the table in the middle of a World Meeting to strip and sing.  
>2. Even if Scotland joins me.<br>3. Or even if France puts money down the front of my crotch.  
>4. Germany will lecture me.<br>5. For the gazillionth time.  
>6. And I hate his lectures.<br>7. They're boring as all hell.  
>8. I'm not allowed to sleep in the middle of a meeting.<br>9. Especially if Germany is lecturing.  
>10. I am no longer allowed to scream " PENIS " in the middle of a meeting.<br>11. Or " My anus is bleeding."  
>12. Or " FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, MY ANUS IS BLEEDINGGGGGGG."<br>13. No matter HOW bored I am.  
>14. Switzerland will kill me for saying words I shouldn't say in front of Lichtenstein.<br>15. I shouldn't call Switzerland 'Sir Cocks-alot'.  
>16. No matter how many times he cocks his gun.<br>17. I will get shot with said gun.  
>18. No, not the sexual innuendo 'gun', either.<br>19. The actual gun. With bullets.  
>20. That will hurt.<br>21. Alot.  
>22. I am no longer allowed to call Austria a 'Prissyboy'.<br>23. Even if it's true.  
>24. Just about everyone will back me up on this one.<br>25. Even Hungary.  
>26. Regardless, she will hit me with a frying pan where no man should get hit with a frying pan.<br>27. I shouldn't lift up Hungary's dress or skirt.  
>28. See number 26.<br>29. I shouldn't mock Hungary for wearing said dress or skirt.  
>30. See number 26.<br>31. I should NOT mock Hungary during her 'Time Of The Month'.  
>32. Again, see number 26.<br>33. I should not mock Austria during his 'Time Of The Month'.  
>34. I shouldn't say Austria has a 'Time Of The Month'.<br>35. Once again, see number 26...  
>36. I should not teach Cole inappropriate jokes.<br>37. He'll tell Starling.  
>38. Which will mean hell for me.<br>39. Because Russia will get out his lead pipe.  
>40. And it won't be used for 'sexy times'.<br>41. I am no longer allowed to pants Germany in the middle of a meeting.  
>42. Italy will get a boner and a nosebleed.<br>43. Which, as amusing as that is, is not good.  
>44. ...Lol. 'Boner'.<br>45. I am no longer allowed to call Austria a 'Frickin Diva'.  
>46. Nor am I allowed to scream 'AUSTRIA IS A FRICKIN DIVA' in the middle of meetings.<br>47. I am ABSOLUTELY NOT allowed to play the song 'Diva' whenever he walks into the room.  
>48. Nor am I allowed to follow him, singing said song, claiming it is his theme song.<br>49. Again. See. Number. Twenty-six.  
>50. I am not allowed to discuss Japan's mangas in a loud voice for all the meeting to hear.<br>51. Because...That...Just causes Japan to blush majorly.  
>52. Uke bait.<br>53. I am not allowed to tie the Italy Brother's curls together.  
>54. Lawl. Even more uke bait.<br>55. I am not permitted to tell Japan to 'accidently' hit/and or pull Canada's curl.  
>56. The same goes for Taiwan's.<br>57. And the Italy Brother's curls.  
>58. And Korea's.<br>59. That will get him groped.  
>60. And then Japan will proceed with attempting to kill me with a katana.<br>61. No, not the sexual innuendo one, either.  
>62. I am not allowed to poke Austria's mole.<br>63. Need I say it again? See number 26.  
>64. I am not allowed to steal Austria's cake.<br>65. He'll cry.  
>66. And tell Hungary.<br>67. Number 26.  
>68. I am not allowed to walk into the meeting, with potatoes stuffed down my shirt to make it look like I have boobs.<br>69. ...lul. '69'.  
>70. Anyways, I am also not allowed to scream in agony when France takes a potato out of my shirt and eats it.<br>71. I am not allowed to ask Canada to grab my potato boobs.  
>72. Or Japan.<br>73. Or anyone for that matter.  
>74. I am not allowed to stick a fart machine under Germany's chair at the meeting.<br>75. Or anyone else's chair.  
>76. No, not even my own.<br>77. Stupid mature people.  
>78. I am not, under ANY circumstances, am I allowed to pull both my pants and underwear down to reveal my five meters in the middle of a meeting.<br>79. Number 26.  
>78. And having that happen to me while nothing is covering that area will REAAAAALLY hurt.<br>79. No one wants to see my five meters.  
>80. Except for Russia.<br>81. But no one really needed to know that.  
>82. Even though everyone already knows that we are together.<br>83. I am not allowed to jump up on the table and sing random Lady Gaga songs.  
>84. Nor am I allowed to scream " SHUT UP I AM LADY GAGA " when someone tells me to shut up.<br>85. I am not allowed to steal China's panda.  
>86. Japan will get very upset with me.<br>87. Same with China.  
>88. He'll get out the wok.<br>89. And the ladle.  
>90. I am not allowed to say to my Vati how much of a uke he is.<br>91. Even we all know that Rome owns his German ass on a daily basis.  
>92. I will get hit with a crop.<br>93. Not the sexual way either.  
>94. The way I was punished as a child.<br>95. I'm not allowed to run around with a crop, spanking people's asses with it.  
>96. I'll end up being the one getting spanked.<br>97. I'm definitely not allowed to spank Austria.  
>98. Number 26.<br>99. I am not allowed to piss in bushes.  
>100. Especially not in Austria's Garden.<br>101. Number 26.  
>102. I am not allowed to disobey this list, for fear of number 26.<p> 


	2. Rules 1-7

Rule 1-7

1. I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED TO STAND ON THE TABLE DURIN A WORLD MEETING TO STRIP AND SING

2. EVEN IF SCOTLAND JOIN ME

IF FRANCE PUTS MONEY DOWN MY CROTCH

4. GERMANY WILL LECTURE ME

5. FOR THE GAZILIONTH TIME

6. AND I HATE HIS LECTURES.

7. THEIR BORING AS HELL

"Hey! I'm the hero I can put off my debt as long as I want to China!" America and China were fighting again and everyone was getting bored. They've been at it half the meeting. I know what I have to do. "Gilbird, vhistle vhile I vork it." I whispered to the half asleep canary in my hair. The bird flew out and I waited till I heard is signature "pyou pyou." I hopped on the great oak table. The music started. I began to dance. "A few drinks at the house gotta get that much going." Jacket sleeves at my elbows. "Cause I can't afford the club drinks that there poling. Valets 20 bucks so I'll find me a meter, its five block away but the parking is cheaper." Jacket off, shirt unbuttoned. At this point Scotland jumped on. "I walk strait up to the bouncer got the flyer in my hand said I didn't bring the ladies but I brought my favorite friends. He doesn't say a word he just points us to the back, like he thinks we'll wait in line, no no we ain't havin that!" He sang. Both of our shirts are off and France has shoved several bills down my underwear (I heard a loud thump and France scream "sac re bleu!" So England must've smacked him for that.) "Cause I know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody I knows. I know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows, I WHISTLE WHILE I WORK IT! I WHISTLE WHILE I WORK IT! I WHISTLE WHILE I-" Both me and Scotland have our pants off, he has no underwear and I have my white Gilbird boxers.

"ZAT IS ENOUGH" West screeches and the music stops. "Aw come on Vest! No von has seen mein awesome five meters yet!" I whined as he dragged me off the table and to the hall so he could lecture me again, and where I would nod like I'm actually listening...again.


	3. Rules 8-9

RULE 8-9

8. I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SLEEP DURING WORLD MEETINGS

9. ESPECIALLY IF GERMANY IS LECTURING

-All I've heard all day is "blah blah blah AMERICAN SPIES blah blah blah DECLARATION OF WAR blah blah blah" I can't take anymore of West's incessant completely un-awesome lecturing, after the whole stripping debacle I'm whooped. I didn't have any totally awesome Vietnamese iced coffee this morning (V.C. Normally makes it for me but she has to go untangle Italy and Romano's curls, older sister duties.) What harm would a teeny tiny nap do?

I folded my arms over my Prussian flag notebook and rested my awesomely gorgeous head in my awesomely sexy arms shut my eyes and...

"OW!" I jerked up. West was standing over me with a ruler. "Did ju just CANE zhe awesome me?" I screamed at my un-awesome younger brother. "I VAZ LECTURING YOU RUDE UNATTENTOVE DUMPKOFF! SLEEP AT HOME ARSHLOCH!" He yelled and started massaging his temples. "I need a beer." He complained and I chuckled.


	4. Rules 10-21

RULE 10-21

10. I am no longer allowed to scream " PENIS " in the middle of a meeting.

11. Or " My anus is bleeding."

12. Or " FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, MY ANUS IS BLEEDINGGGGGGG."

13. No matter HOW bored I am.

14. Switzerland will kill me for saying words I shouldn't say in front of Lichtenstein.

15. I shouldn't call Switzerland 'Sir Cocks-alot'.

16. No matter how many times he cocks his gun.

17. I will get shot with said gun.

18. No, not the sexual innuendo 'gun', either.

19. The actual gun. With bullets.

20. That will hurt.

21. Alot.

"PENIS!" I screamed and everyone turned and glare at me. I pointed at Austria and He smacked me. "Prussia" Switzerland gave me a look that read 'do it again, I dare you.' I grinned "challenge accepted" I mouthed. "MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!" "BROZER! Stop interrupting zhe meeting!" Germany yelled from his place at the chalkboard. Switzerland placed his gun on the table, spinning it around, whilst glaring at me. I grinned again 'game on' my awesome red eyes declared. He squinted and cocked his gun. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY! MEIN AWESOME ANUS IS BLEEDING!" "THAT'S UT ALBINO!" Sir Cocks a lot lifted his gun cocking and aiming at my stomach. "What are ju going to do, shoot the awesome me with your totally non awesome gun, sir cocks a lot?" I laughed. There was a loud bang and all of the sudden my awesome thigh started hurting... A lot. "OWWWWWIIIIIE!" I screamed and clutched my awesome thigh as I fell. "I'VE BEEN SHOT! HE SHOT ME UND VIS A REAL GUN, NOT UN AWESOME INNUENDO GUN! OW VEST! HELP JOUR AWESOME BIG BRUDER! OWWWWW!" "Ju deserve that Bruder." West sighed. "Big brozer? Vhats un 'anus'?" "YOU'VE DONE IT NOW ALBINO!"


	5. Rules 21-26

RULE 22-26

22. I am no longer allowed to call Austria a 'Prissyboy'.

23. Even if it's true.

24. Just about everyone will back me up on this one.

25. Even Hungary.

26. Regardless, she will hit me with a frying pan where no man should get hit with a frying pan.

"HEEEY PRISSY BOY~" I shouted as Austria entered the totally un awesome meeting room. "Va- Zat! Ju demon doitshe!" "Vat it's true Prissy Boy!" I grinned at him. He looked extremely offended, win! I fist pumped the air. The rest of the countries collectively agreed that Austria was indeed a Prissy Boy. I even heard Hungary's un-awesome voice agree with Austria's nick name. "Prussia! Ju can't bully Austria like zat!" She yelled and her mighty frying pan was raised and I cringed, trying to cover mein awesome balls before she could smite them, I was to slow. Pain emitted from my vital regions and I fell to the floor. "Eeeeeeeh" I moaned and the male countries looked at me with pity, except for Austria who smiled smuggly. I Flipped him off.


	6. Rules 27-28

RULE 27-28

27. I shouldn't lift up Hungary's dress or skirt.

28. See number 26.

"Keseseseseses~" I chuckled while France and Spain grinned. "Do it mon ami!" France whispered. "Yeah go on chico!" Spain agreed. I sniggered and slowly lifted up Hungary's totally Un-awesome dressy skirt thing, revealing a completely awesome green lacy thong. "Holy mother!" I yelled France and Spain whooped. Hungary turned around. "PRUSSIA! JU DEMON PERV!" She blushed and I scrambled away from her. I was to slow, me and the rest of the BTT were attacked mercilessly with her frying pan of doom. Romano laughed at Spain, England declared that he would not have sex with France for two weeks and Vatican City glared at me while whispering "I am going to cane you so hard when we get to church." I gulped.


	7. Rules 29-30

RULE 29-30

29. I shouldn't mock Hungary for wearing said dress or skirt.

30. See number 26.

"Look at little Hungary in her skirt like a little girl instead of zhe man boy she used to be!" I sniggered. Vatican City who was sitting next to me slapped me. "You are being-a rude." She whisper yelled into her ear. "Prussia..." Hungary turned and un-sheathed her mighty frying pan of doom. "Please! Hungary please don't hit mein awesome five meters please!" I begged. She showed no mercy. V.C. gave me a bag of frozen peas. I cried throughout the rest of the meeting.


	8. Rules 31-32

RULES 31-32

31. I should NOT mock Hungary during her 'Time Of The Month'.

32. Again, see number 26.

"Ooowww!" Hungary groaned. Austria rubbed her back in calming circles. "It'll be over in a veek, ja." He tried to comfort her and she nodded. "I vonder who is on her time of zhe monzh." I whispered to France. "Ohonhonhon~" he giggled, then turned to Spain to repeat mein awesome words. "FUSOSOSOSOSOSOSO!" Spain broke out laughing, the entirety of the countries at the stupid not awesome meeting turned and looked at the three of us. "Vat? Vat are ju laughing at tomato man?" Hungary stood up and screamed at him. Spain went pale. Like literally PALE his face was tinted in mein awesome skin tone. "Uh uh uh NO SÉ CHICA LOCA DE MIEDO!" He screamed and ran from the meeting hall. France gulped and looked nervously from mein awesomeness to Hungary. "Francy pants!" She grabbed him by the weirdy blue coat thing. "DEMANDER PRUSSE JE DOIS QUITTER MAINTENNANT BYE SCARY LADY!" He bolted from the room. "Oh mist" I cringed, awaiting the imminent pain to my vital regions. "Prussia... What. Did. Ju. Say. About. Me." "Somezhing about jour time of zhe monzh." I tried to sound brave in the face of death. I saw Austria hand her the weapon that was sure to end me. I squeezed my eyes shut. The pain came. So did my screams, and the sounds of pity from the other nations. "Dear Gott, help mein awesomeness..." I whispered from my position face down on the ugly un-awesome carpet of the meeting hall.


	9. Rules 33-35

RULE 33-35

33. I should not mock Austria during his 'Time Of The Month'.

34. I shouldn't say Austria has a 'Time Of The Month'.

35. Once again, see number 26...

"IMBECILE! VHY VOULD JU BRING ZAT GARBAGE MCDONALD'S TO ZHE MEETING! NO VON ELSE ENJOYS THAT SLOP BUT JU FAT PIG!" Austria was screaming at America for his choice of lunch, the ever famous not all that awesome Mickey D's. "Jeez vell ve know who started his you know vhat don't ve okatron." Me and the rest of bad touch giggled. "He really is on his MENstral cycle isn't he chico?" Spain chuckled. "Oui Oui!" France agreed and we all chortling. "IZ ZHERE SOMZING JU VISH TO SHARE VIZ ZE REST OF ZE MEETING BRUDER?" Germany yelled, slamming his fists on the table un awesomely in rage. "Ja mein un-awesome bruder, Vill zhe rest of zhe meeting conquer viz zhe awesome me und mein awesome friends on the fact zhat zhe completely und totally un-awesome little baby man boy child Austria started his un-awesome man period today?" The BTT exploded laughing, along with Scotland and some other countries who ha an awesome sense of humor. "PRUSSIA JU DEMON DOUCHE! I DO NOT HAVE A MAN PERIOD!" Austria banged the table with his fists. "HUNGARY! FOR NARNIA!" He Shouted and Hungary's frying pan was raised and she let out a mighty battle cry, before the cast iron pan hit mein awesome five meters.

"That was your own fault babe." VC told me outside of the meeting room, she always took me to the break room to fix me up after the smack down. "But it was funny." She smiled and kissed mein awesome cheek, leaving the awesome me blushing with a bag of frozen corn resting on mein awesome five meters.


	10. Rules 36-40

36. I should not teach Cole inappropriate jokes.

37. He'll tell Starling.

38. Which will mean hell for me.

39. Because Russia will get out his lead pipe.

40. And it won't be used for 'sexy times'.

"STAR! STAR I HAVE A JOKE!" Cole ran up to his best friend, obviously excited. "Uh okay…" Starling's reply was unsure. "What's looooong," Cole spread his arms out. "Haaaard," he giggles and Star looks at him nervously, "and has cum in it?!" "COLE! WHAT! JESUS GOD ALMIGHTY! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT!" Starling screamed, startled at the EXTREMELY inappropriate joke. "Mr. Prussia taught me!" Cole smiled innocently, Starling's eyes were bugging out of his head jaw wide. "O-o-o-oh uh hey Mr. Russia." Cole stuttered, looking at the figure standing over Starling. Starling turned quickly, then cowered. "uh uh uh hallo, Mr. Russia." He stuttered nervously. "Vat vas dat I heard you joking around?" Russia's eye brow was cocked, confused. "Oh well it-it was nothing, Cole just he uh well he-" "Spit it out Star." "Well he learned a naughty joke from Mr. Prussia." Starling squeaked. "Tell me, da?" Ivan leaned down and Starling whispered the joke into his ear. Ivans face went blank, then he smiled evilly. "Star, get me my lead pipe of pain, da?" "W-w-w-which one, you're Alfred sexy times one, or the kill-" Russia 's look cut him off, he was smiling but the aura around him was of pure evil. "Okay the killing one, right away sir!" Star and cole scampered off.

LATER

"OWWWWWW! THE PAIN! MEIN AWESOMENESS, IT"S BROKEN!" Mary scampered up next to her lover. "Calm down mon amour, you're fine.." She comforted Gilbert and lead him to the car. "Mon Dieu! I think a few of your ribs are broken." She tucked him into the car and ran around to the driver side.

Russia sat in the corner grinning widely, his lead pipecovered in blood and . "Another win for Mother Russia, Da." He chuckles evilly. "Russia, bro! You got the pipe all bloody, gross dude!" Alfred pouted. "No Al, it's a different pipe, should we go get the other one?" Russia smirked, and Al nodded vigorously. Ivan held Al bridal style and dashed off to one of their top secret sexy igloos hidden in the snow.

A/N

_Hey y'all it's Kyoko! Aren't ya glad I updated its been like two, three months maybe? Anyways! I'm working on a new fic about my favorite german bro(he knows he's my favorite he's the cutest, awesomest, funniest *fangirl ramblings*)…. christmas edition! _

_Love Y'all!_

_Kyoko_

_REVIEW! FAVORITE! FOLLOW! THAT'S THE MOTTO! *is cheesy* *team rocket cheesy* oh god I need help..._


	11. YOYOYO

Hello to my loyal and wonderful fans! I know I update rarely update, like really I need to get on it, but I feel like I need a new project, and I'd love to get your ideas or anything you think my style could do justice. I'll be taking FREE commissions here, on my deviant art, and tumblr, all of the fics will be posted on the sites previously mentioned! You have till May 15, to request fics so get a move on it!  
>I love you all!<p>

Kyoko

SEND ME REQUESTS FOR:

Free!- RinHaru Reigisa

Hetalia – PruCan FrUk RusAme RoChu DenNor etc (please no UsUk, PruHun, PruAus, or Germancest)

Tokyo Ghoul

Black Butler

Bleach

Yona of the Dawn

Etc!

RATE REVIEW FOLLOW THAT'S THE MOTTO! _*__is extremely cheesy__* *__like team rocket chesy__*_

Tumblr- supremeoverlordpizza

Deviant Art - thateenagefangirl


	12. Rules 41-43

41. I am no longer allowed to pants Germany in the middle of a meeting.

42. Italy will get a boner and a nosebleed.

43. Which, as amusing as that is, is not good.

44. ...Lol. 'Boner'.

Okay these meetings are getting out of hand. I mean really, this is the third time everyone started screaming at the top of their lungs about their feelings. Like, they are screaming their feelings into each others mouths. I need to do something about this. No. I'll get kicked out. Yes. I'll get kicked out! But what if, oh no, _he_ might LECTURE again! Shize what do I do. I have several options.

Sit through this

Teach Peter a new swear word

Make up an illness, last time West let me go. But last time I had fake puke…

Scream swear words in German. That's good. That's really good. No, I think he brought a nightstick with him.

WAIT. He hasn't used a nightstick in years. That is most definitely his penis. I know what I must do. Their still yelling, I can make my move now. Ludwig was standing at the board, pointing at the map something about borders. I don't care, one day there will be no boundaries, I will own it all.

I start trying to slide under the table. Francis heard the squeak next to him and laughed at me as I was trying to slide off the rolly chair and under the table. Stupid Francis. I'm just trying to be like James Bond but Prussian and cooler and he's laughing. He's next on the list. No, he'd like that I need something good, maybe blackmail? No. I'll figure it out later, I can only do one mission at a time, and this one is the most important. Operation Strip Tease.

Like a lion I stalk my prey. I crawl under the table avoiding the gross sweaty feet of other countries. I approach slowly, dangerously. I see them. The olive green slacks tucked into his shiny. Black. Boots. It's too easy. I start to chuckle. I cover my mouth with my hand. I can not be caught, this will be my legacy. This is the story I will tell my children, they will be proud of their daddy.

I reach up and yank. The fabric gives way, revealing a pair of worn boxers. The screaming stops. All is silent. Ludwig's eyes go to his legs, noticing the lack of fabric covering them. Alfred laughs, he falls to the ground laughing, followed by Lovino, who was also howling in laughter. The rest of the room erupts in uncontrollable laughter.

Ludwigs head moves to me, as I am laughing. Quite hard. I think I banged my head on the table. Ludwig's eyes are filled with burning rage. He tries to grab at me but trips over his pants. Everyone laughed harder and I escaped to the back of the room. I got a glimpse of Feliciano, with blood dripping from his nose, eyes as wide as possible. He quickly looked down to his lap, and saw _it. _"Uh Uh Uh SOME STUFF HAPPENED, I GOTTA GO!" He screamed and ran out of the room. I heard Japan mutter something from across the room. I don't think I heard him right but he might have whispered "Gay chicken."

Everyone was laughing. Ludwig was desperately trying to pull his pants back up so he could:

catch and 'punish' me

and

continue with the stupid meeting.

thats not gonna happen. I know these countries, this meeting is over. I sighed contentedly and left the room. It was a good day, and by far, my favorite world meeting, ever. I think we got farther than we ever had at this one.

AUTHORS NOTE:

Hey lovelies!  
>How are y'all! Next chapter is coming your way soon! Still accepting those requests I talked about!<p>

Love you!  
>Kyoko<p>

_Review! Favorite! Follow! That's the motto! _

_All characters belong to their rightful owners, I am just borrowing._


End file.
